It's Been Confirmed

Our agency is not receiving any referrals this month. The cut-off date is Oct. 26th. The CCAA has set an all time record low of matching only 2 days. We were only 9 days away. So close yet so far away. If they continue to match only 2 days worth, we could be looking at another 3 months of waiting. Simply unbelievable and utterly devastating. Trying to figure out why we continue to be tested in having a family is pointless, it has just become a cruel reality for us. We don't know how it is any other way at this point. The scary thoughts that run through my head is what if we don't get our baby at the end of this? What if they halt all adoptions because they simply don't have enough "paper ready" babies? It's a real fear. We know what it's like to be so close to our dream only to have it snatched right out from under us in the blink of an eye. It can and does happen. So, another month we have to wait and see what will happen. I don't see us being included in the next batch because the last days of October are bigger than the ones that were just matched. I predict it will be another season we have to go without our baby, I just know it.

On a much lighter note, we had a wonderful weekend up on the island. We find complete peace and happiness there, it's always a much needed break from our reality. We stopped at our favorite restaurant in Fish Creek, The Whistling Swan Inn before we caught the 9:30pm ferry ride over to the island. It was one of the best nights out we've had in a long time. Roaring fire, great local beer, dynamite food. In the dining room an older couple came over and asked if we were celebrating an anniversary because she saw our camera, we said no but we'd love our picture taken. We were totally grubby in our lakehouse clothes not to mention we realized we had on matching shirts... a positive mistake but an honest one with us...it happens more and more the longer we're married. So embarrassing, oh well. It was snowing when we walked out. The ferry ride over was, well I'll quote the captain of the boat, "one to tell your kids about." Blowing snow and ice, high winds, and very very dark going across "Death's Door" with the boat tilting completely left and completely right at what seemed to be full speed. We landed safely, opened a bottle of wine and watched a movie on our new Epson Movie Mate. The toilet and shower are in, what a relief. We had someone come out to see about chipping all of the brush and trees we've cut down. He's going to do it this week! We rushed around Sunday to add more and tagged the big trees we want down. Thank God for this house, we live for the weekends to return to it. It's definitely a bright spot for us.

(just learning to insert hyperlinks, no need to click on them unless interested, just practicing)