Magnolia's Orphanage

It was a beautiful drive 3 hours south of Guangzhou to the city of YangJiang, the city of Magnolia's orphanage. The countryside is so green and so lush. We could see farmers and their old houses. It was exactly how I pictured it in The Good Earth. When we arrived to the city we all got kind of somber. It is a very big city of about 3 million people. Before we knew it, our huge tour bus turned down a very narrow alley and suddenly the doors opened and there we were. Just like that. All this time our daughter's home seemed so far away and suddenly we were here. It was nothing special, nothing pretty, in fact just downright poor and depressing. The first floor was pretty much open air that houses very very old people, I only saw men. They were half dressed and pretty much dozing on chairs in unbelievable heat. No air conditioner. There was a gazebo were they eat. Two dogs were tied up there with rope. The kitchen was on the first floor and the stove was fueled by wood. Upstairs housed the special needs children, we never got to see inside that floor. The top floor held all the babies. The stairs and hallways were open air and you would go into closed rooms off the hallways, kind of reminded me of an old motel. I didn't even get beyond the door without the assistant director crying out "Ling Ling" (Magnolia). As we walked up the stairs other nannies leaned their heads out windows and cried, "Ling, Ling!" They took us into a very small "office" and offered us a seat, no one wanted to sit. Magnolia was long out of my arms at this point. She was obviously very much loved and missed. She was passed from nannie to nannie but her main caregiver wanted to hold her the most. She was well loved and for that, I was so happy. There was genuine care and Magnolia reciprocated it. I understood that the nannies came to love her and while she's going to a good home, she will be missed. I also understood some of the things Magnolia does watching them hold her. They conked heads together which Magnolia has been doing with me. She also likes to push the air out of our cheeks which they also did with her. I asked why Magnolia says "Ah-nigh" and they said that she's probably trying to say "mama" since they have been trying to teach her that for a while now, how sweet! I think the most terrifying thing about having all the nannies hold her was that it would be traumatic for Magnolia. We were both worried it would be confusing for her. She was very cranky on the ride home, obviously exhausted but very clingy for the rest of the night. They told us we could ask questions but I couldn't think of one thing to ask. Instead I snuck out of the room and down the hall to peek into the baby room. They told us they would take us in one family at a time but I, like some others, just stood at the doors peering in. Rows and rows of cribs, I tried to count the babies but couldn't see them all. They told us there were 70 in there, a very small orphanage in comparison to others. 70 too many for me, my heart was breaking. Some were crying, others just lying there looking at nothing, some just standing up peering back at us. A nanny was going around giving babies bottles of sweet tea, propping the bottle on a towel since there aren't enough hands to feed them. When it was our turn to go in to show us Magnolia's crib, I just looked around but can't remember anything else besides all the babies' faces, just so sad. One was crying and I went over to comfort her and tell her her mommy and daddy were coming soon but I was shooed out so the next family could come in. I didn't have much reaction over seeing Magnolia's crib other than just tightening my grip on her :) and feeling so happy she will never be in there again. My reaction instead was over all the other babies left behind. I don't understand why they aren't with their forever families, why are they still in there?! It's so frustrating. Someone asked how in the world three nannies traveled in a three hour bus ride with nine babies! They said that each nannie sat in the middle seat with one baby on her lap with another baby on either side of her and they would rotate the babies periodically. I also learned that they gave the babies something to prevent them from going poop since there would be no way for them to change their diapers on the bus. That's why it took all of our daughters days to go. All of our babies' faces are peeling. The orphanage explained that it is because one of two reasons. None of the babies have ever been outside...ever. So, with a little sun exposure on the bus ride over caused this. The second reason is that while the babies first got sick just before we got them, they gave them a special herbal tea which they believe cools the body temperature down and would cause the skin to peel. I happen to think it's the sudden exposure to air conditioning, drying the skin out. After visiting the orphanage we all got back on the bus and the assistant director, Magnolia's main caregiver, got on the bus too. She took us to each of the babies' finding spots. Along the way, someone asked if any of the babies were fed bottles, she said no and that some babies, including Magnolia, know how to hold and feed themselves. Funny, because Magnolia doesn't reach or really hold the bottle herself at all (I woudn't let her anyway as part of the attachment process)! Makes me wonder if she was given that extra special attention of being fed and she was just saying that because in their eyes, they think it's good they can hold a bottle themselves. (Also the reason they didn't tell us she was a thumb sucker, because they think thumb sucking is awful. Someone actually pulled Magnolia's thumb out of her mouth today and others said the same thing about their babies. I couldn't believe it!) We were like a circus bus pulling into each of these finding spots, I really don't think many westerners pass through there much let alone a big bus of them holding little Chinese girls. Magnolia's finding spot was last. We took lots of pictures, it made me very sad. Sad for her birthmother having to leave her and sad for Magnolia for being left alone for God knows how long. I was also very happy that this little soldier survived it and happy that her mother gave her life and left her in a place she knew she would be found so that halfway around the world, her forever parents would be able to come and get her. She's a true miracle in our eyes!
While the whole trip was hard, we feel so grateful for being able to do it. It was so important to see her beginning. Someday if Magnolia wants to know more, hopefully we'll have some answers for her. I think the hardest part of the trip was knowing how Magnolia is flourishing in our love and knowing that all the babies still left in that orphanage don't have that yet. There are something like 3-4 million babies in orphanages across China. Only 7-8 thousand are adopted annually.

George mostly shot our visit on the video recorder. Here are some of the still shots we got.
Hallway at the oprhanage. The door on the very end is the baby room. They wouldn't let us take any pictures of it.
A view from one of the windows.
The entrance to the orphanage.
So so happy we found each other.
Magnolia's main caregiver.

Magnolia getting another last hug from a nannie.
Magnolia's crib. No toys, no blankets in these cribs. Just a towel and wood slats.
She actually leans towards it. I said, "oh no you don't!"

Check back in the evening, U.S. time. I will post more pics.